Satire – Getting Ready, Words with Resumes

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Great resumes get great attention and interviews.  I personally think mine looks good, I have a variety of skills and an associates degree plus quite a few certifications.

While I am extremely professional and proficient at almost anything from receptionist to libraries to restaurants to activities coordinator, there are those jobs you would just love. Just understand its a fierce competition out there and well, yours just needs to really pop with some great adjectives along with a nice time line to help you get noticed.

Did I say I would help with that?  Well, it would be a good start, however, what I’m saying, from experience, is read between the lines.  What they say they need is really true.  Of course most know this.  But, and never start a sentence with the word but, be careful your not selling yourself to the next highest bidder your just as good as they are, you could land your fanny right into the hall of fame, right where you don’t want to be. Or worse setting yourself up with an interview that is waste of time and energy…did I say waste, yes…if you have been to decades of interviews and you or they do not meet the criteria so to speak.  Stop wasting yours and their time by thinking such high expectations.

So and in a seeking and consistent activist…I’m sorry to disappoint you, but, your not going to get that job for about a year or two.  So sorry. See…its a numbers game. If you apply to 10 jobs a day, keep ur blog, ur LinkedIn account and any other accounts, after you served dinner, helped with homework, cleaned the house and did another one to many tasks to help you get pumped up to look for another job… BEFORE you hit your pillow and then get 3 hours sleep.  You might be asking?  Trip planned with the In Laws – where are we going, again?  Kids – whose are those and whats their names again?

Its OK….  So, when you see something like:  must like working with horses/ just know you will end up smelling like horse poop at the end of the day/ you and your wife will love how you smell in about 3 weeks, because that’s how long it roughly takes to learn the position.

Shall I give another example:  oh, lets see, how about a few of these words:

Exonerate, volunteer, inquiries, conducts, supervise, register, interview, help direct reimbursement, document, phone etiquette, transform, goal plan, sales, facilitates, type, direct, improvise, coordinate, multi-task quickly, evaluate, creative, hiring entrepreneurship ideas, configure and balance budgets.  And oh the many more!

Id say, hey, you got that and more.  Heck, I got that and alot more.  But, like I said, competition is fierce.  Just remind them all you do during the day, if you nail the right words…trust me, you will land that job.  Don’t forget to mention how well you finalize at the end of your interview, cuz hey,  that’s what you do with your family budget, right?  All said and done, good luck with your interview and better with your resume.  Nail that job!  Too bad laughter wasn’t a requirement for an resume, then again, how many know how to write out laughter.

Psalms 4:7 God desires joy in human beings and all things he hath created.

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